Village Women Caught Peeing

"Of course, come inside."I pointed to the phone and he asked, "Um could I use your bathroom first. I just drank a huge soda and well I..."I walked him down the hall toward the downstairs bathroom when he suddenly veered off into the living room. It took me a minute to realize that he was no longer following me and I turned back and looked into the living room.He walked over to the mantle and picked up the framed picture of me and the girls that was taken just last summer. "Your daughters are very beautiful; just like their mother," he said."The bathroom is this way," I said perplexed, pointing back down the hall.He looked up at me. "I want to have sex with you Sarah," he said with a straight face"What? How do you know my name?"He intertwined his fingers and reversed his hands with his palms towards me and flexed his muscles. "In fact I want to be the father of your next child." What? I'm sorry. What did you just say?" I said that I want, no, I am going to be the father of your next. I tried a machete at first, but it was sad, and took a lot of effort to hack and hack. An ax would no doubt get stuck in, and be useless. I suppose a morning star might do, but also heavy and tiring, and I could just envision whacking myself senseless in a crowd of zombies. But thinking about where I might locate a morning star got me thinking- the Historical Museum!I felt guiltier for not paying the seven dollar entrance fee than I did taking the display katana, after all, more people would see it in my possession than would if it sat in a glass case- mainly, me! I also took the sharpening rock and scabbard, and watched the display video showing how an antique sword was sharpened. I thought that bit with the paper and the folding was just style and safety, I would just have to be careful of the edge.Ok, so I wasn't Mr. Bad Assed Swordsman right off the bat. I took my practice in ones and twos, one at a time. I survived, because that is what I do, and zombies are dumb. It was almost.
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