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.. well, putting it bluntly, it was a shower of shit. I suggested that we get someone who is experienced at singing up on stage to do it, and your name came up.”“Yeah, I’d love to do it,” I said. “What’s the details of the event?”Frank gave me all the details, what time I would have to be there, that Lisa was invited too, and we would be sitting at one of the Left’s tables. It sounded fun; I would have to practice the song over the next few days; if last year it went terribly wrong, I wanted to make sure I made a good fist of it. It wasn’t hard to get a copy of the words; and the music, well, that was ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’. I should be able to pull off singing it a capella, although that evening at home, when I was practicing it, Garry suggested I take my acoustic guitar up on stage with me.“Try finger picking a backing, like this,” he suggested, and then played the chord pattern. “It will help keep you in time, too.”We practiced the song together several times; after the. .Here's where I tell you about one of my ex girlfriends, Sammy. Sam waskind of.... weird. She insisted on having sex all the time. Whichnormally for a guy is awesome, but I mean ALL the TIME, literally!We would get up, sex. Eat lunch, sex. Sex... then sex.... it get'stiring, but it also get's boring after a while. You need to come upwith new ways to fuck. Different ways, like in the shower, In the car,at the movies... And even then it get's old.We started to get her different outfits. Schoolgirl, stripper, maid...you know, the usual. Even after that, it had been a few months we hadbeen dating and I think even Sammy was getting bored.At the end of our relationship, it was very close to Halloween. We werelooking into costumes and I had no money at all. Sam decided to wereher schoolgirl outfit, to save on cash. I was out of ideas, ghost, t-shirt ninja, maybe just go in my PJ's?Sam said I should just wear her clothes and go as a girl..."What? I'd look stupid, and your stuff wouldn't.
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