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Argh!Finally, I walked away. I would find no succor there.---I found a seedy bar that opened early and drank myself silly. By the time I got home it was early afternoon. I flopped onto my bed and napped.---The buzzing of the intercom woke me up. Oh shit, the new couch! I rushed out and let the delivery guys in. The new couch fit nicely where the old one had been.I sat on it, feeling the unfamiliar fabric of the sidearm. It was different enough from the old one that it wouldn't bring back the memory of Jessi when I was sitting on it, but a couch is a couch, y'know? I was sad.Fuck it, I said to myself, time for more drinking. I downed a bottle of water and a multi-vitamin, and then headed back to that crappy bar.---I was working on leveling up my drinking skill from Sloshed to Pickled when the girl came up and sat next to me at the bar. I looked over and...holy shit! Jessica fucking Alba! She smiled that gorgeous Jessica Alba smile at me."Hey," she said, "what ya drinkin'?"I looked at. CRAYOLA BLUE (yep, thats her name cuz she liked wearing BLUE and her Mama useta work in a Crayola Factory) — had got in touch wit me thru a Nigga of a Nigga of a Nigga of ANUTHA Nigga dat I knew — and asked if I would help her with this ancient pussy artifact thang.Crayola was into collecting all dat Afrikan shit like Masks, Ivory, Clothes, Objects of Art and what not— and she heard I was one dem old, southern New Oreleans, Louisiana Niggaz dat was into da HooDoo shit.So she called me talkin bout she had an Old Collectible dealing wit da ancient Power of Pussy Essence.How old? I asked her.Bout 2,000 years old, she said in dat Soft-ass voice of hers.Im thinking to mah self: HOW SHE GIT THIS TYPE OF MONEY?Butt OUTLOUD Im like: WHO YOU THINK STOLE IT?I dont know for shure. Butt my guess is them THIGPEN Niggaz.Umph.I knew who da Thigpens was I just didnt figger they would be into PUSSY like dat. At least, not enuff to Steal dat kind of artifact. Sumpen MO had to be UP wit dis shit.Butt.
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