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‘Oh my God, I’m blind,’ I said throwing my arm over my eyes to protect myself from the glare of Rick’s shiny button-down shirt. It was two shades of neon green, one shade of forest green, with thin silver reflective wavy ribbon-like designs all over it. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were dressed like that? I never would have let you in.’ ‘You like it? It’s our new uniform shirts, I got them for all my guys.’ ‘They’re atrocious.’ ‘I know! Isn’t that just fabulous? They’re so bad, they’re good. Who could forget a lawn guy in a shirt like this?’ Rick asked. ‘And check this out.’ Rick reached into his front pocket and pulled out a pair of huge, very hip sunglasses with a tiny bit of green and silver on the tinted glass. He turned left so I could see the big writing on the wide plastic temple. On the left side I read the words, ‘Strickland Lawn Service’. Rick slowly turned right so I could see the writing on the other side of the sunglasses ‘Shades, to protect you from the shirts.’ I. I thought we might need to move into the backseat.Of course the knock on the window just about scared us to death. It was the highway patrol who had pulled behind us a few minutes after we had stopped. He had a shit eating grin on his face. As I rolled down the window he asked, "You folks having any trouble that I can help you with?"I looked out the window and said. "No, officer. My wife just needed to tell me something and she didn't want me driving off the road when she did." Well, it must have been some good news or else you have been assaulted and I'll arrest her for assaulting you, if you would like me too." He was grinning again."No, officer. I'll work out the penalty for that assault with her later."He laughed and said, "I just bet you will. There's a town with a motel just ahead."We were back on the road both laughing about our encounter with the law. Looking back now that motel might have been where the baby was conceived but I'm getting ahead of myself.Lana was on my chest.
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