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His behavior was born out of need, he explained. He wasn’t allowed to express himself sexually, and he didn’t entirely agree with that aspect of his religion. I only knew what my Father, the ordained Church of God minister, had taught me about right and wrong. I was ignorant to the Catholic beliefs, but I had enough remorse to know being with a Priest was very wrong. I also felt the need to cover myself. Although I was fully clothed at the time of Austin’s revelation, I somehow needed to shield myself from him to appease my guilt over the nasty sins I had committed. ‘Oh, my God,’ I remember whispering, ‘I’m going straight to Hell.’ Austin’s voice was sympathetic and soothing as he explained to me that I had done nothing wrong. He took full responsibility for my guilt, and his sweet way of tending to my embarrassment was strangely endearing. His voice became husky with the restraint of unleashed tears, and I didn’t doubt his sincerity over his concern at hurting me. He asked me. She then changed the subject and said more that surprised me. Tori do you remember when you asked me about me having a boyfriend in college? Yes, I replied. Well I dont have a boyfriend in college. I laughed thinking how odd it was for her to bring that up now. Do you remember what Scott said my nickname was? I nodded and then answered, Liz the lez. Do you know what he meant by that? I had some ideas but I thought Id let her answer so I shook my head no. She looked down. Then she began to explain, After having had the abortion I became very unhappy. I really became withdrawn and didnt do much of anything with anyone. Towards the end of the school year one of my friends somehow talked me into trying out for a school play. I was horrible and got just a tiny part with no lines. That wasnt what was important though. For the summer I didnt have any plans other then cheerleading camp and my mom wanted me to stay busy. Since I had been in the play she found out about a drama camp. I.
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