Gujrati Fucking

’ I stared at her. She was wearing a long fawn caftan style dress. I couldn’t remember ever having seen her in a dress. On first meeting her I’d detected something different about her. Now I could see what it was. She had grown her hair longer but this morning it had been tied back so it wasn’t so easily noticeable. Now she had it down and it reached to just above her shoulders and was trimmed straight round the bottom. It was a sort of reddish brown in colour and I realised I’d never noticed that before. ‘You’ve grown you hair longer,’ I said. ‘Yes, Peter said he’d like me to grow it longer so I…oh never mind him, do you like it?’ ‘Yes, it makes you look different.’ ‘Oh, well, we’d better get going.’ ‘Why, what’s the hurry?’ She paused and looked confused for a moment and then said, ‘I don’t know, I just rush everywhere these days, there’s so much to do.’ ‘Yes, I could see that by your kitchen…oh by the way, I tidied it up a bit.’ ‘Did you?’ She went and had a look. ‘Oh Ster, I. The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had.
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