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Last night, walking with Mark, after dark, was sweet and romantic. Out in broad daylight, it was nice, but in a way I felt like I was showing off my boyfriend. My boyfriend! I never had a boyfriend before, and it was exhilarating, it was exciting, and it was just plain different than I had ever felt before. ‘Mark, I’ve got to tell you, my parents are coming to pick me up this evening after class. I’ve got to go home for the weekend.’ By now we were standing in line, holding the ugly yellow fiberglass trays, and getting bacon and eggs and toast at the Cafeteria. My dorm meal card worked here, but Mark had to pay cash, a whopping $1.57! ‘Would you like me to meet your parents?’ Mark asked. ‘Oh, no, not yet! My dad would lock me away in a closet if he found out that I had a boyfriend.’ I just realized that I called Mark my boyfriend, when he really hadn’t said anything about dating steadily or anything like that, but then felt a sigh of relief, he hadn’t balked or had a whoa-too-fast. At the time I saw my father as a petty tyrant, taking his daily frustrations out on me, while that may be the slightest bit true. I see now that he was trying to shape me into the man that he wanted me to be. I understood only years later that he was doing what he thought was best for me. I see now that he was trying to give me the skills and type of character I would need to make it in this hard life. Only now years after I last saw him do I fully appreciate the man that my father was. It was not until some time later that I fully appreciated the effect that he had on me, how he shaped me into the man I am. I never got the chance to thank him for that, I hope that he knew how I felt, that I respected him for that. I grew up in a small town near what I thought was a grand church, though modest it may be. The Local Lord built it more for his own glory more than his desire to be closer to God. However it did mean that there was a good church to attend on Sunday and good deal of.
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