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I felt very confused, guilty as hell and full of apprehension and I wanted to flee, but then again I just couldn’t disappoint Paul and I was getting such worm sensations in my stomach.He paused for a few seconds staring deeply into my eyes as though trying to read my mind. If he could’ve seen my thoughts he'd have seen abject terror. I'm quite happy standing up before a boardroom of hard-nosed businessmen and pitching a proposal worth thousands of pounds but this whole situation was beyond my experience. I was alarmed at the sensations this stranger had roused in me. I was terrified of what would happen if I actually enjoyed this and I was petrified of not enjoying it. I was afraid that he'd be too big for me and hurt or damage me. I was scared that I might be too inexperienced and embarrass both the stranger and myself. I was terrified of the damage sex with another man could do to our lives. More than anything I was horror-struck at the thought loosing Paul, loosing our marriage.. "Greta married me the week after I graduated from college and the honeymoon wasn't even into its third day before she started fucking around on me. She didn't know that I knew and quite frankly I didn't care that she was doing it. Her first (at least the first I knew about) had been one of the bellboys at the hotel. While we were there she also managed to get the afternoon manager and at least two of the room service waiters. I'm sure that there were more, but again I really didn't care. Greta gave me all I wanted and as long as she didn't fall for some asshole or bring me some nasty disease I was content.In my own weird way I loved Greta, but her value to me went beyond the beautiful face, the superb body and nymphomanical nature - it was also her money. More specifically it was the money she would get when her parents died. They had something in the neighborhood of sixty-five million dollars that would go to their only child when they departed this vale of tears to go on to the.
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