. Or you can do it now."The thought of living like this for another two years—in secret, blood seeping down my arms, hiding in corners to cry—made me feel extremely tired. But the alternative... Well, that made me feel tired too. There just didn't seem to be any good choices."I dunno," I said.He gave me an odd look, but said nothing. And there didn't seem to be much for me to say either, so I said nothing."I mean, seriously," he said finally. "Arie, you need help—and I'm not saying that as an insult, I'm saying that as a fact. Isn't there some law that you have to be stuffed into the hospital if a teacher notices that you're harming yourself? Everyone thinks you need help. You think you need help. If nothing else, you need to confront your parents so that you can stop things from getting worse."Damn him and his logic. Damn him and his ever-fucking logic. "It's not exactly easy, you know."He shrugged. "You just march up to them and say, 'Excuse me, Mom-and-Dad, stop fucking me up.'. That’s what you call him, isn’t it? Your Daddy? Good grief, you are so fucking pitiful!Anyway, once Paul gave me that first taste of power over you, I became addicted. You might say I’m a sadoholic; and, unfortunately for you, sweetie, I haven’t the least intention of quitting.As I said, there is a second reason I’m writing to you. And, believe it or not, the joy I get in torturing you notwithstanding, it’s a somewhat more ?noble? one. The doctor tells us that it’s better for your mental equillibrium if you understand what happened to you, even if it’s on a subconscious level. In other words, you might be too stupid and scatterbrained to remember the past in any specific way, but somewhere in that dandelion poof you call a head, a continuum of some tenuous sort exists between what you were and what you are now. The doctor says it’s important that you make that connection in order not to have a total breakdown. A gibbering wreck is not sexy, darling, and in case you haven’t guessed,.
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