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But even with the words of love, Jerry had yet to take her into his arms. He continued to treat her as damaged goods. By the time of their next session with Dr. Gardner, Jenny had begun to internalize his complaints. She was shocked to comprehend fully that she had damaged herself in her husband's eyes. She had thought that the many things she'd learned about pleasuring men in the trailer would be a bonus for Jerry, and now she understood that they would forever be painful reminders of her time there.Anal sex was a focus of many of Jerry's rants and Jenny knew it was something he had wanted from her. Jenny had gotten to the point that anal was so mundane she barely noticed when she had something in her there. No, that wasn't quite true; she liked to have something there, fingers, a dildo or a cock. It helped her to have a more intense orgasm. Now, it was possible that she and Jerry would never explore that. Not only would her experience be evident, but she slowly realized that she. Before he was blinded I think the answers would have been different. I didn't know him very well then but I have been told what he WAS like. He was impetuous, took stupid risks, and didn't think deeply. It might have been that he was still immature despite being in his twenties. His parents were very disappointed that he wasn't what he should and could have been. Now? He takes my advice. He listens to me. Sometimes he even defers to my judgement. If we were actually rulers? I can influence him now without him really knowing I'm manipulating him. If he was a King? Most but not all of the time I think I could stop him acting rashly. I ought to be able to prevent him from doing anything really disastrous. In a few years' time and after we are married I think I could do much better than that." That was what I wanted to hear, Eleanor. That was why my mother blinded Prince Johann. He wasn't taking any notice of the good advice he was being given. As a blind man he has learned at least some.
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