Pictures flitted across my mind of our houseboats, both of them, and our jets.My heart loved every one of those people. Loved them enough to risk dying for them, but I knew, as Mr. Hillman's produce truck closed in on bringing me my own unique brand of eternity, that they were all gone from me.Did I ever hold Beth Ann in my arms and make beautiful love to her in a log cabin outside Branson, Missouri?Did my three children never command my lap, my heart, and my love?Did I live in two other people's bodies and experience an entire world of wonderful memories, or was I having some out-of-body experience that super-activated my thoughts?Unconsciously I clamped my hands on the wheel, bracing myself for the fatal impact about to befall me. Even as my body reacted to try and protect itself, I knew it was futile. I'd LIVED it all before ... and died.My current state of aliveness was about to surrender to a definite condition of deadness. Mr. Hillman's produce truck continued to stalk me.I. The Andersons had two cars and father was supposed to be in the garage changing the oil in one of them. The garage was closed up when I got there and the door on the side was locked. I thought it was strange that father had the garage shut. It was a hot day and there's no air conditioning in the there. There was an old fan but to take advantage of that you have to have one of the doors open. I stood outside the garage and knocked on all of the doors. Finally father came to the side door and opened it up. He was really mad that he had been disturbed. He tried to tell me that he was working on the car and listening to the radio. I didn't hear the radio at all and was suspicious of what he was doing."After that I started hanging out around the garage, professing an interest in what my father was doing. It was strange that most of the time when he was in the garage the doors would be open but every once in a while everything would be locked up. When father came in after those times he.
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