For the first time in my sheltered life, I had a genuine reason for misery although I found no comfort in this fact. I was attracted to the mysterious constancy of waves, and occasionally the inscrutable ocean seemed like sweet respite. Since my unfamiliarly masculine hands no longer required the active leadership of my brain, I was left with much more time for the contemplation of my unhappiness. Callous fingers ripped off gills and expertly removed our mangled catch without my active participation. I had become so accustomed to arterial spray that I now only noticed blood when substantial amounts spurted into my eyes and dripped down like tears. * * * * * * * * * * * The rollers stopped pulling in the net. I looked to my captain, fearful that he would berate me once again for failing to live up to his forty-year expertise, but his eyes were focused beyond the stern of the boat. I followed them to the buoy at the end of the net, saw what he saw. A small black and embryonic head. When Susan had pushed too hard, too fast, and tried to bring their clandestine relationship out into the open, ordering her around at work, Carol had woken up to see how unhealthy the relationship was, and how unlikely that the woman would ever leave her husband. She was a plaything for her boss, a position that she found increasingly untenable.“Sit, Carol, tell me what you have been up to.” Susan said, folding herself gracefully to sit, half-reclined, on the loveseat.“Susan ... I need that info, but I am not going to sleep with you to get it. I have a wife, a healthy relationship, and I am happy.”“Oh come now, can you honestly tell me that you don’t think of me, of us?”“I do.” Carol admitted, unwilling to tell her that memories of their relationship kept her focused on Stella, determined to be the woman her wife needed. Susan was a fantastic bad example.Susan stood and stalked around the low table, seating herself next to Carol. She reached up to stroke Carol’s cheek. But when Carol.
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