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He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday.169. A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before."Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink. For the others, Percy hoped that the camaraderie between fellows would fulfill their desires.Percy was just walking along enjoying the outdoors when his cell phone rang. There was nothing usual about this. The lodge was always calling for one thing or another but this time the caller ID was blank. It wasn't "Caller Blocked" or "Unknown caller" but blank. Somebody very powerful had arranged for this happen. Percy decided to answer his phone formally, "Chief Holmes speaking," he said."Hello Percy, Remember me?" a voice asked.Of course Percy remembered the voice. It belonged to one of the most powerful crime bosses in the Northeast.One night as he was leaving his favorite diner in Philly a limo pulled up and blocked his path. Percy put a hand on his gun expecting trouble.A voice he suddenly recognized said, "There's no need for that gun Detective Holmes, I just want to meet you face to face and say thank you." The Don got out of his car and shook Percy's hand and then kissed both cheeks..
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