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I already love him I suppose, well, as much as a person can when they haven’t seen each other for over two years! I suppose I should explain, I am travelling on the train going up to London to meet Raiden, a friend of mine who moved to the states a few years ago. I am 19 years old now and he is nearly 19. We have been chatting pretty much everyday since he left England. At first it was just chatting as friends just saying hello and stuff but after awhile I realised that he was playing on my mind a lot more than a friend should. I would be sitting in the car with my sister and I would just be looking about the window when suddenly his face would come into my mind, his smile, the way his dark eyes sparkled when he was happy. I knew that this wasn’t just a question of being friends any more. I wanted him. And as I later found out he was thinking exactly the same thoughts! Oh my god, the train is pulling in, what am I going to do if he doesn’t like how I look now!? I mean obviously we. She sent a visceral horniness flowing to my balls. But the comfy personal warmth I knew with Martha and Ronnie, and even Anita, was missing entirely.By eight-thirty I returned to Martha's. She wasn't home. I brought a cup of tea and a pack of cigarettes with me to the front steps of the building. I lit up and sat and waited. I said aloud, as if Fiore were there watching me, "Yes, I know: exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing." I finished the tea and brought the cup upstairs and went down to the steps again. The damn cigarette smoke was sticking in my throat, so I threw them away. I did a little pacing as time wore on. At a quarter after nine I saw Martha turn the corner at Second Avenue and start walking toward me.When she was halfway down the block she waved at me. I walked to her, and when I joined her on the sidewalk she put her arm through mine and gave me a kiss."What are you doing out here? Are you out here waiting for me?" Yes." Well, hon, if I'd known you were so.
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