Really Sexual Things

“No problem. OK, we don’t want ... Percival to grow up without you. I agree.”Unbeknownst to either of them, Elizabeth had followed Jack. The maternal instinct in her was strong, and her baby boy was in danger. She couldn’t just stand by while a giant ground his bones. She had a kitchen knife in her hand, something that approximated a toothpick when compared to Mortimer’s bulk.But ... she heard Mortimer wailing about what she thought was his baby being raised fatherless. It tugged at her heart strings. Once a mother always a mother, you know, even when giants are involved.“We most certainly do not!” said Elizabeth from the darkness, agreeing with her son.She was emboldened when Mortimer flinched at her voice, and she stepped forward. Mortimer relaxed when he didn’t see a lance, and recognized the woman with the cute little breasts, which were still hanging out of her torn night dress.“So what do I do?” moaned the giant. “I can’t get up the stupid beanstalk and the soldiers will be. While the golf club would not allow him to connect electricity, but he had worked out an agreement with Ian Robertson, the head groundskeeper, to connect the cottage to the course water system. In return, Ian’s son was allowed to utilize the green’s privileges of the little-used golf membership.Aaron loved the cottage. Originally, it had been composed of just two rooms and an attached livestock shed. Aaron had closed in and partitioned the shed. The smaller portion remained as an exterior storage shed, which housed the batteries and generator that provided the electrical power. The larger portion of the shed had been converted into a bathroom. Access was provided through a doorway he had cut through the thick stonewall. Aaron had done most of the work himself. He was proud of the rough-hewn heated slate floor, claw foot tub, pedestal sink, and his throne: the humus toilet. The two original rooms had been made into a bedroom and a combined living area and kitchen. The old peat stove.
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