" I finally managed, "I won't be long."Reluctantly I returned home to find out about my father. I was a bit relieved that Samantha had turned down my invitation. I hadn't thought it through and her presence would have made talking about everything impossible. She was watching out for me even when she didn't know it.I still wondered if what this Alek fellow was telling me about Phillip was true or not. Phillip seemed to be a likable guy. He helped me and promised to leave me alone. I felt I knew him better than I knew this guy – who hadn't been very likable so far.By the time I sat back down at the kitchen table I was actually feeling a bit angry."So tell me, why should I believe your version of things over Phillip's?" Jake," said my mother trying to placate me, "he's telling you the truth." I'll bet you," said Alek, "he never said that he was your father's friend. He never said exactly who killed your father did he? He's very good at talking around things like that so you never pick. ’ And at that moment, whether it is me who says it or her, my heart will break in pieces. It would be fairer to both of us to have a big fight this afternoon and never see each other again than to watch years of love and hope and expectation built up and then shattered.But we won’t. I will do anything I can to make this last until I am old and ready, at last, to pass from this earth.Rachel and I made love almost every day during spring break. And we tried all the things she said we would but, in the end, we made love.“Rachel, I’ve fallen in love with you,” I confessed as we lay in her bed Wednesday afternoon.“I’ve heard people are always in love right after great sex,” she sighed.“I know. I know what I’m saying is dumb for someone my age, but I want to grow old with you. I want to watch our children grow up and marry and give us grandchildren. Even before we made love, I’d fallen in love with you and now I’m afraid for every day in the future. Every day that something might happen to.
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