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When Ms. Beckett had invaded his domain, sneaking up behind him."Boo!" she had shouted playfully. "Did I disturb you painting your nails?" Mr. Mendelsohn looked at her, with her own glossy red nail-polish, then back to his own well-trimmed but colourless nails. He sighed, but said nothing. Cheerfully, she shrugged and began to wander through the office."Do you really need all these different computers?" she abruptly demanded.Mr. Mendelsohn's heart skipped a beat. "Each of the machines," he said with measured calm, "plays an essential role in our overall system. They are all indispensable." Well, don't get your panties in a wad," she brayed back at him. "I'm just thinking we might save money with a single, centralized mainframe."Mr. Mendelsohn knew time was of the essence, for her evil eye was now firmly fixed on his beloved department. That day had been reconnaissance, and now she would plan the first assault. There was no doubt in Mr. Mendelsohn's mind that soon a memo would arrive. ‘Mrs Fitzgerald, ‘ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’‘Sure, ‘ she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The Reverend realized that she’d had far too much to drink and grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.The pub landlord looked over and said, ‘Oi Mate, we won’t have any of that carrying on in this pub.’The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, ‘But you don’t understand, I’m Pastor Flapps.’The landlord nodded and said, ‘Oh well, if you’re that far in, you might as well finish.’This one is compliments of J & BSEX and GRAMMAROn his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine.
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