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You must have come directly after the meeting. You’re still wearing a formal shirt and tie; your jacket must have been discarded in the car. Of course, you came with your friends and we have to keep up appearances. The whole group descends on me, and there’s a flurry of greetings all around. We’re all old friends. “Hi,” you kiss me on the cheek. “Hey there, yourself. Welcome.” I respond. “I didn’t know you were back,” I say, pretending not to have received your itinerary before you even stepped on the plane. “Yeah, we’re here on vacation for a while,” you say. “Vicky didn’t come?” I ask. Your wife. “No,” you reply. “She stayed home with the kids.” “Well, you guys take a look around. I’ll be right back. Enjoy!” And I walk as fast as I can to the back of the room and escape through the door. On the right, I go into the bathroom and check myself in the mirror. Is my face flushed? Does it show how hard my heart is beating? Is the tingling of my cheek where you kissed me visible? . The crowds thinned a little, and we walked on in silence. I had no idea what he was thinking, but for me, it was as if my mind had been transported into a tornado, memories and thoughts being tossed about in the whirlwind. What am I feeling for this random stranger? I feel like if he were to leave at all, I’m going to die of depression. Is it wrong to think that I have gay feelings toward a complete and utter stranger? I wonder if he feels the same way about me... I think, secretly, I’ve always been gay deep down. I never really had any feelings for women. Those were all just superficial and shallow relationships. All through the sound check I was watching and thinking about Tyler. Love? Did I love this boy? No, it couldn’t be... I was singing and smiling at him, he was smiling back at me, sitting in the darkness of the front row. “Alright,” my manager called from across the stage, “I think we’re done here, go get some last minute rest before the show.” I ditched my mic, and climbed.
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